This Phase of Life is Challenging, How I’m Staying Positive

I recently saw an ad for a cute ring and the caption read: “grow through what you go through”. Sure, I’ve seen this saying (or something similar) a thousand times but this time, it hit a little closer to home.

You may have read from my previous post that I am currently following an elimination diet* to heal some gut health issues I’ve had since my early 20’s. I decided to hire a functional medicine doctor in November 2020 to help me heal naturally, through food amongst other things (more on that process here). I’ve done an elimination diet on my own but this was my first time being prescribed a food protocol. While I thought to myself, “I got this”, the past four weeks have proven to be more challenging than I ever expected.

When I completed elimination diets in the past, it was based off of books I’ve read and what I learned in holistic health school. I was in the driver’s seat, meaning I knew when it started, what I was going to add back and when. This time around, my symptoms are being monitored by the functional medicine doctor and his team, and adding foods back will be determined on how I am improving. Don’t get me wrong, this is GOOD thing, because 1) I know I am in good hands and 2) this is how the process is supposed to work if I want to get true answers.

While I know this process is exactly what my body needs, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it is difficult. For the past four weeks, I’ve been cranky, moody, negative, impatient, and waiting for all the answers to magically appear overnight (super realistic, I know). Ever since I attended holistic health school, I’ve been wanting to hire a functional medicine doctor. Here I am, six years later, my functional medicine doctor an email away and instead of being thankful, I’m basking in my sorrows.

While it is totally fine to acknowledge what I’m going through is challenging, I really needed to take a step back and get it together. First of all, this challenge I am facing will not last forever. Second of all, I am already seeing improvements in my digestion, so clearly this protocol is working and it is only going to get better.

Even though I am starting to see improvements, I still find myself living in the future. I find myself daydreaming about the day when my digestive system is functioning properly, when I know exactly what foods work for my body and what foods don’t. I picture myself drinking my favorite cup of coffee with my friends at my favorite local coffee shop. I get excited when I think about eating a baked good again (gluten-free, of course). While envisioning these future scenarios brings me joy and peace, knowing that this current challenge is only temporary, I’ve realized that I need to be careful that it does not make me simply wish the present was over.

Living in the present moment is something I’ve worked on over the past few years and honestly, I’ve been pretty good at it. But this journey I am on right now is proving to challenge this because I am too busy worrying about the finish line. Is the finish line a few months from now? Years? I’m trying to be in control of something that is somewhat out of my control. My body is not going to give me a high five overnight and reward me with awesome digestion just because I drank two cups of bone broth the day before. That is an unrealistic expectation and instead of trying to force the future or getting to the finish line quicker, I need to get back to the present. If I don’t, I will continue to be stressed, anxious, and negative.

I think a lot of us can relate to this. We’ve all been living in this pandemic for a year now and there is a glimmer of hope that we will be able to hug our parents and grandparents, return back to our offices, and travel again. Most of us have had times where we’ve embraced the present and other times where thoughts about the future are what got us through our hardest days. Although I am super excited to put this pandemic behind us, I think this past year has taught us that we need to be resilient and focus on the present instead of trying to fast forward our lives.

There is always something to learn in the present. Below are a few things I’ve been doing to help me remain calm, positive, and present as I go through this phase of my life.

Setting Boundaries

This has been one of the best and also one of the hardest things I’ve had to do for myself this past year. I’m talking boundaries with my time and boundaries with how much energy I give to other people. Because I am facing a list of multiple priorities right now, I keep hard boundaries with my time. During certain times of the day, I meditate and journal. During other times, I work on my MBA with no interruptions. It might seem boring to live in a constant routine, but if you are like me, setting time boundaries will reduce your stress levels and help you stay organized.

Setting boundaries with people is difficult, especially if you are not used to setting them or if people in your life do not respect them. This year, my energy was being thrown into other people instead of myself and I had to finally start setting boundaries. I was so stressed about these other people and not thinking about myself and what I wanted. I was carrying around so much anxiety that I finally decided to communicate my boundaries on multiple issues to multiple people. While it was difficult to do this, it felt AMAZING. If there is a boundary you feel you need to set, I encourage you to speak it aloud to yourself and then communicate it to the specific person/people.

If you want to learn more about boundary setting, personal beliefs and values, I highly recommend scheduling a session with Devon Pelto. She has coached me this past year on various things and I couldn’t recommend her more!

Saying “No”

This goes along with setting boundaries. In my opinion, saying “no” is a form of self-care. If you really don’t want to do something, it is okay to say no. Saying no does not make you a bad person, a bad friend, a bad family member, a bad co-worker. Sometimes, saying no is what you need to do to take care of yourself. You cannot be everything to everyone. Never feel guilty for saying no to something that does not feel aligned with who you are.

Focusing on One Task

I feel the most anxious when I am trying to do too many things at once, both at work and with my personal life. There are a lot of projects going on at work and I find that if I can focus on one particular project during a certain timeframe, I am able to accomplish more than I would’ve if I were distracted by all the other things. This is why it is important to prioritize. If we are not prioritizing, we are going to be busy rather than productive.

When it comes to my personal to-do’s, I focus on one major task per day and “sprinkle” in minor tasks if I have the time. When you focus solely on your major task, you will feel less overwhelmed and all those minor tasks you used to worry about will eventually fall into place.

Scheduling Quiet Time

There is a lot going on in my life right now. I’m studying for my MBA, meal planning according to a specific protocol, meal prepping, making time to call my family, making sure my partner and I have quality time. I am a Type A personality, so naturally, I create a weekly schedule to stay organized and on top of my priorities. I literally schedule time to chill. Yes, it sounds crazy, but it works. If I don’t schedule time to simply chill, I will get caught up in all my other to-do’s and burn out.

Make sure you are scheduling time for yourself. Go for a walk, listen to music, take a bath, read a book, meditate, journal, cook yourself a fancy dinner, get creative. We all slack on self-care, but even scheduling 5 minutes a day of “you-time” can make a huge difference in your mood and stress levels. If you are looking for self-care inspiration, check out my free resource here.

Gratitude Journaling

If I’m feeling super down and daydreaming about the future, I put on some calming music and journal about all the things I’m thankful for right now. Yes, sometimes the future IS exciting, but it is important to not let what you have in each moment slip away. For example, when I start feeling negative about this gut healing journey, I first remind myself why I’m doing this and then write about how I’m thankful that I can invest in my health in this capacity.

There are going to be phases of life that are harder than others but trying to live in the future will only create more stress, anxiety, and negativity. I hope these suggestions I provided will help you accept the present and grow through it. For more self-care ideas that can help you get through difficult times, read my self-care blog post.

*Before starting an elimination diet, please consult with your doctor.

Photo by Jacki Drexler on Unsplash