Why I Exercise

Yesterday, I started getting back into the habit of working out in the morning. I recently moved into an apartment building that has a gym on the main floor and I am so pumped! The fact that I can roll out of bed and walk downstairs to the gym has helped me to stay motivated. When I headed down on Monday morning, I did not have much of a plan. I knew I wanted to get in a quick warm up on the treadmill and do a few dumbbell exercises, but I did not have a rigid routine in my head. Let me tell you, it felt really good to be able to head to the gym without obsessing over this.

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How I Started Healing

When I was in my early twenties, I never thought I was on a diet.  I thought the discipline I had around my food choices was me simply choosing to live a healthy lifestyle.  For years, I did not think that the rules and the mentality I had around food were harming my physical and mental health.  I often felt proud of the “will power” I had when I said no to office treats and dinner rolls. I often judged others who were choosing to eat “unhealthy” foods and thought they were not taking care of themselves.

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What Do You Appreciate About Your Body?

I used to hate everything about my body and wanted desperately for it to be “perfect”. I wished that my dieting and exercising would get me that “perfect” body, but it never did. There is no perfect body and we need to stop wishing for a different body.

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No Shame

When I was 25 years old, I never imagined my 27 year old self would step out of my comfort zone and move to a new city. This is because when I was 25 years old, I was still struggling with disordered eating and body image issues. I was constantly obsessing over all things food related that I forgot to think about my career and the goals I had for my life. I didn’t have time to think about leaping into anything new.

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The Root of the Problem

When I was trying to eat as “clean” as possible in my early twenties, I thought I was being healthy. I was proud of myself for staying away from “bad” foods and only eating whole foods. I was proud of myself for spending hours in the kitchen and hours at the gym because I thought I was taking care of myself in the best way possible.

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