Growing up, I often overheard conversations that seemed to have the same gossipy theme of discussing who should and shouldn’t wear a specific type of clothing. I grew up thinking that I had to look a certain way in order to wear a certain type of dress, bathing suit, etc. Nobody in family ever told me I should or shouldn’t wear anything, yet I could not help but think this way after hearing conversations about other people’s appearances.
When someone negatively comments on another person’s appearance, it most likely means they are insecure about their own appearance. They are projecting it onto someone else to make themselves feel better. I believe this was the case in my family. Some of the women in my family did not have the best self-confidence and at the time, that is how they made themselves feel better. I can see that connection now, but as a child, I held onto those words as truth.
I think this projection can happen in other areas of life as well. I remember often judging people because they were further along in their career than me. I remember often judging people because they were dating someone great. When I do not feel super confident in a certain area of life, I think it is easy for me (and all of us) to negate someone else’s success. And even though I’m aware of this fact, I still find myself having to reshape my mindset when I am in the middle of a funk.
When I was in the middle of my yo-yo dieting phase, I judged people who had the “perfect” body because I felt super insecure in my own. I judged people who could “eat whatever they want” and never gain weight. I even judged people who seemed to have “willpower” around food.
Judging never helps a situation but it can make you aware of the stuff you have going on inside. What judgements have you made recently? How many of those judgements came from a place of insecurity? I’m going to take a bet that a majority, if not all, of them came from you feeling insecure about something in your own life.
This month, I am making it a focus of mine to practice more self-care so I can get to know the stuff going on inside of me. I think it is easy for all of us to get caught up in our daily to-do’s and in turn, we lose sight of who we are and what we need to address. I encourage you this month to search inside and figure out your own stuff. Become aware of what you’ve got going on in your mind and take steps to heal and move forward.