With every holiday season comes multiple parties that all revolve around food. When I was struggling with disordered eating, these parties brought up TONS of anxiety and guilt. The day of a party, I would either eat less than normal so I didn’t feel as guilty about enjoying a holiday treat OR I would fill up on “healthy” foods beforehand so I would not be hungry at the party.
Neither of these options brought me happiness or allowed me to actually enjoy the holiday season.
The problem was that I was so caught up in listening to everything that diet culture taught me. There were so many rules around food that I had to keep up with. The other problem was that I had a horrible relationship with my body. I hated how my body looked and I thought if I could lose a few more inches, I would feel beautiful. This problem continued to feed my disordered eating because I thought the way to control my body image was by controlling everything I ate.
For years, I never had the chance to enjoy holiday foods. If I did have a treat, I would feel guilty and if I didn’t have a treat, I would feel hungry or depressed. Not to mention the extra hours at the gym to “make up” for the Christmas cookies I ate on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
The last few Christmases, I have been able to actually enjoy food without any negative feelings creeping in. I never want to go back to that place where food controlled my every move and the holidays were full of food anxiety and guilt. That is why I work on my mentality around food and my body every single day.
Do you think you will be able to have a guilt-free holiday season this year?
If so, I’m truly so happy for you and I encourage you to continue working on your own food freedom and body kindness. If no, I recommend that you talk to someone about it or ask advice from someone who has gone through the same thing.
Please feel free to reach out here to take advantage of the free holiday sessions I am offering. No obligations afterward, my only wish is for you to have a happy holiday season.