Happy Tuesday, my loves. It has been quite the week for me and my family. If you follow me on Instagram, you would've seen that I lost my grandma this past weekend. She was the best lady I've ever known and I'm going to miss her deeply. I know she is with me in spirit but that truth has not made these past few days any easier. All I want is to hear her voice again, calling me "my angel". Now, she is my angel watching over me for the rest of my life and I will always have her in my heart.
I've been mourning her loss for the past four days and it has been really tough. I've noticed myself turning to many different things for comfort. I've been calling family and close friends nonstop and seeking comfort in their voices and healing words. I've found comfort in TV shows that make me laugh and also make me cry. I've held meditating and journaling sessions with myself so that I could feel my gram with me. My comfort these past four days have also come from food.
Going through this mourning process has made me realize a few things about the intentions I set at the beginning of 2018. At the beginning of this year, I wrote in my journal that I would not turn to TV for comfort and relaxation. My intention would be to read instead. These past few days though, I've realized that I put too much pressure o myself to be perfectly holistic and "productive" with my time. I need to start being okay with letting myself go when I need to.
I think a lot of us struggle with this. Especially those of us with careers in health and wellness. We teach our clients to take care of themselves by eating intuitively, exercising, meditating, journaling, etc. This is all well and good, but sometimes it is not what we need. Sometimes we really do need all the chocolate to heal our hearts. Sometimes we need to watch that Netflix series we are obsessed with in order to shut our brains off for a while. Sometimes the meditating and journaling sessions do not speak to us in ways that we need.
This year, I know some of you have set intentions to exercise five times a week, meditate and journal every day, and read before bed. I fully support you in those intentions when they are the things you feel called to. I want you to make sure that you do not force yourself to do any of those things. Make sure you are taking care of yourself in that way. It is great to have health and wellness goals for both your mind and body, but make sure those goals do not interfere with you taking care of yourself in the moment. Life happens and we need to flow with it.
Be gracious with yourself this year. That is my new intention.
Love and peace,